Adjusting to Change

I have to admit, I've had a harder time adjusting to residency than I thought I would. 

I prepared myself for my husband never being around, and some days he's home more than I expect and its a wonderful surprise.  But there's also a lot I haven't expected. Like...

Parenting

     It's been really hard to try to have a normal parenting style or be consistent when my husband is actually home.  Our children only want to be with dad when he's around and I want them to have good memories of their small time together.  But children aren't always well behaved when they're thrown off schedule or something new happens.  I don't want to be the bad guy when dad is around, but I don't want our children to have dad only disciplining him when he's home.  So its been a rough balance of trying to keep consistency while fostering positive experiences.

Finances

    This is by far the BIGGEST adjustment.  We didn't live in luxury in dental school, but because of our situation we lived relatively comfortable. But now with taxes, unions fees and retirement funds being taken out of our paycheck (not to mention a handful of other costs) we have much less than we were expecting.  I've struggled with feeling like our family has all their needs met.

Lonliness

Often times I feel very alone.  Physically and emotionally.  I feel like no one can understand what I'm going through.  Normally I would rely on my husband for comfort, but that isn't really possible when he's never really home.  I can talk to friends and family, but its hard for them to really  understand what I'm going through.  I can talk to friends locally, but they have busy lives too.  I often find myself turning to my faith to help me get through the days or weeks.  Sometimes I think life is just meant to be a little hard. 

Change can be hard to adjust to.  I liked this quote I came across recently:

There's always something to gain.  It may not always be immediate but it is always there.  I have to remind myself often that one day life will be different.  If not now, then in the future one day, I will look back at these experiences and see how they have made me stronger and all that I have gained.


The number one thing that has made all the difference with these struggles is having a support group.  I have found over our time here there is a lot of sources to turn towards but that I had to put forth an effort in order to receive that support.  Over the next few weeks I will be posting a series about how to create your own support during residency.  Stay turned to ideas and sources.